Red Flags In a Relationship

Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behaviors. Red flags can be signs of selfishness, aggression, manipulation, gaslighting, or even abusive behavior. Especially in a new relationship, it's always challenging to determine red flags due to the existence of passion, affection, desire, and love. Relationship red flags must be identified, addressed, and corrected. Red flags do not appear to be simply an indication of a different person's bad character; they could be a warning sign of an impending unhealthy state or even a sign of incompatibility.

You can avoid getting involved in a toxic relationship by becoming aware of some common red flags and taking a moment to reflect on the dynamic you are in. If you notice warning signs that your relationship isn't as happy as you think it is, try to talk to your partner about how you are feeling. This may be useful if you want to resolve some minor issues that you believe will improve your relationship. It is critical to understand how to spot red flags in a relationship. Learning what they look like and why they are harmful can put an end to toxicity before too much damage is done. Red flags in a relationship include:

Criticism Act

It is typically the first behavior that occurs in a relationship conflict in which one partner attacks the other’s character or personality. It is when you start using phrases like "you always" or "you never" and the focus shifts from solving the actual problem to focusing on the flaws of others.

Abusive behavior 

Abuse is an undeniable red flag in any relationship. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or psychological, and it causes stress, distrust, and unhappiness in a relationship. Physical abuse is easier to detect, and emotional and mental abuse can be just as harmful in the long run. Abuse is never an acceptable response to a problem; instead, it should be addressed fairly.

Anger management problems

If your partner struggles with anger management, you may feel threatened or unsafe during the conflict. A lack of emotional regulation is a clear warning sign. Any relationship with someone who uses anger as a form of intimidation when showing toxic behavior

Gaslighting 

Your partner may use gaslighting to make you feel bad about yourself and lower your self-esteem. It is a harmful form of emotional abuse in which the manipulator will make you question your sanity or judgment. It's a clear red flag in any relationship.

Violation of boundaries

Every individual should have boundaries in a relationship that they establish or set, and having a partner who respects them is essential. If your partners continue to cross your boundaries, it’s a clear sign of being pushy, trying to change your mind, and not stopping when you ask them to.

Controlling behavior 

It is a common red flag for those who attempt to exert control over your movement, decision, or belief. They care more about what they want than about what is best for them. In a healthy relationship, there is compromise and understanding around differences, and no one person controls the other person’s actions.

Dwelling on the previous relationship 

If your partner is constantly bringing up their ex-partner, it could be a sign of unsettled issues that need to be addressed. They blame their partners for all of their problems. It could be an indication of a lack of responsibility.

Lack of communication 

Communication is the foundation of any relationship, and it should provide a safe space for both partners to express their emotions openly without fear of judgment or criticism. It entails ending a discussion with emotional distance (silent treatment), anger, or changing the subject. It can also dominate the conversation, leaving little time to talk, or not provide support when you need it and are having difficulty.

Lack of trust 

Trust is an essential component of any relationship. Healthy relationships demand mutual trust on both sides. It can leave you feeling stressed, worried, and upset all of the time.

Being secretive 

Sincerity and trust are essential components of any healthy relationship. It could be a sign that they don't trust you enough to tell you the truth. Keeping a secret on purpose begins a process of emotionally distancing from the other person.

They lack accountability.

if your partner is consistently struggling to master essential life skills such as managing finances, taking care of themselves, and organizing their daily needs. In such cases, you two will find yourself constantly preoccupied with their problems, which may leave you exhausted and emotionally drained. It is always difficult for them to provide you with the happy future you deserve.

Uneven power dynamics

A relationship is two-way, where both parties must support each other for the bond to thrive. If one partner is constantly attempting to exert control over the other (the submissive partner), consider this a red flag.

persistent feeling of insecurity 

If your partner makes you feel insecure, it's better to talk about it than to hope for the best while feeling insecure. If their actions do not bother them, it could be a red flag.

Regular fighting

No relationship is perfect, but a healthy relationship should add to your happiness rather than detract from it. "Constant fighting over small matters, especially if you're just starting out dating someone," is a red flag.

Refusing to discuss feelings

In a healthy relationship, both partners should be free to express themselves. Both should feel at ease discussing issues, past relationships, and vulnerabilities. However, if the other person shuts down when you bring up such conversations or simply changes the subject, this is a red flag.

Stonewalling 

It can be the breaking point in a relationship when one or both partners simply shut down all communication, including emotion and thoughts, and respond to the other person with physical behavior that indicates they are "done" with the conversation. 

Every relationship experiences ups and downs. However, one must be alert enough to notice the difference between harmless disagreement and toxic patterns. When we are desperate to "make it work," we end up abandoning ourselves, and if this is the case, it is time to walk away. Again, healthy relationships involve equal give and take and should contribute to our happiness rather than detract from it. not take away from it. If you are unsure, remember that everyone’s definition of a "red flag" is different, so knowing where you stand on them is essential. If you find yourself questioning your happiness, values, and the worth of your relationships, there may be an underlying issue. If you notice any of the above-mentioned relationship red flags, you should be able to discuss them with your partner if possible, and if not, walking away is the best option. Not every red flag has to mean the end of a relationship, but understanding your non-negotiables will help you decide whether or not to stay. It is better to end things than stay in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship.